How Could I Say 'I Love You'..........Part 14

It was definitely a shock for me. My mind went absolutely blank for few seconds. The people around us were now staring at me as if I had made her cry. Fortunately the train soon reached the next station and there was a commotion as a few people got down from the train and many more boarded it. I quickly turned to her and whispered

"Why are you crying?"

She suddenly realized that she was in a metro and not some isolated place. She quickly stopped and used her handkerchief to wipe her eyes and glasses. I was angry at her weird behavior. Here I had helped her in getting a seat and there she was making me a villain in the eyes of the people. The Indian public doesn't ask before making making an opinion. 'I would never entertain her ever' I thought.

"I am sorry. I couldn't control myself." She said without looking towards me. I didn't reply and there was a silence between us for a couple of minutes. I didn't want to talk with her but curiosity overpowered my reluctance and I couldn't stop myself from asking her

" Why were you crying? Was it because I helped you in getting a seat? Did I do something wrong?"

" No no no.." She said quickly turning her face towards me " It wasn't you..... it... "

"Come on" I said sharply " I deserve to know. You had almost made me a villain here."

It seemed she would cry again but she composed herself quickly and then whispered
" Anshul proposed me today."

I can't forget the confused look at her face when she saw me giggling after she narrated me her 'proposal story' in a couple of minutes. It took me a minute to suppress my laughter. Anshul was the male avatar of her. A weird personality in every sense, Anshul complemented her perfectly. Who else would have dared to propose her ?

"Why did you laugh?" She asked once I had exhausted my quota of laughter. There was a seriousness in her tone. I could sense it. I didn't answer her; instead, I asked her something else

"What is your name?"

She was definitely surprised at this question. She looked at my face for few moments before saying slowly

"Chhavi Sharma"

How Could I Say 'I Love You'..........Part 13

Just before Diwali vacations, we had a big seminar in college. The whole programme ended by evening and by the time I boarded the train, it was already past 7'O clock. Since it was a saturday, there was huge rush in the train. I could find a vacant seat with a great difficulty. As I sat down, I saw her standing near the door with the now familiar troubled look on her face.  I don't know why but I suddenly had an urge to ask her to sit in my place. Perhaps it was because I had observed that she was as tired as me and needed a seat more than me. I was still contemplating how to offer my seat to her and whether it would be right or not when the person sitting next to me began to get up from his seat. I seized the opportunity and called her.

Only air escaped from my mouth as I suddenly remembered that I didn't know her name. Fortunately she was looking in my direction and I could gesture and tell her that a seat was vacant. She was hesitant initially (obviously due to my past behavior) but then thought otherwise and came and sit beside me.

It was a pretty odd feeling for me as she sat near me. I was still wondering why did I do it? I had avoided any sort of contact with her in the past and my this step might undo what I had been trying to do for so long - getting intimate with any girl. I was engrossed in my weird thoughts when I heard a sniff of low intensity. It was a followed by a couple of other sounds which are quite familiar to any human being. I froze in my seat for a second.

The girl whom I had just helped in getting a seat was crying.

How Could I Say 'I Love You'..........Part 12

Time heals everything; Time makes you forget the pain; Time makes you flexible enough to adjust in an environment that was completely alien to you. I had spent close to 3 months in this college and slowly I was getting accustomed with the surroundings and the people there. I had made few friends, had begun to stop thinking that I had landed at a wrong place. Tight study schedule was also helping me by keeping me busy.

Though I had recovered somewhat from the trauma of my broken relationship with Rashi, I wasn't interested in a new girlfriend. I needed some more time to think over it. Almost all of the pretty girls of the class had already become committed. 'She' was one of the few in which no one was interested.

It's kinda funny but even 3 months later I didn't know her name. Apart from the lack of interest, the separation of the students into the 2 sections was another reason behind it. She had remained in section A while I had landed in section B. Post that incident, when I didn't respond to her smile, she had been staying away from me and I was thankful for that. I had begun to think that destiny wanted to develop some sort of bond between us but I was wrong.

I had seen her getting off the train numerous times but she had never came to me again in last 3 months. We had become complete strangers yet again. Though I still used to notice sometimes that she had changed little in spite being in Delhi for so many days. She still seemed uncomfortable and sometimes, a troubled soul to me. But my botheration would evaporate pretty soon. There are lot more important things in my life to worry about than this girl's woes.

I didn't know that  soon I would be asking that girl to share her troubles with me.

How Could I Say 'I Love You'..........Part 11

For the next couple of days I avoided even looking at her. I am very well aware of the fact that such small instances, like the one happened with me in the train, sow the seeds of future relations. It begins with a little smile and slowly leads to other things. I didn't want that to happen. That is why I didn't dare to even look in her direction.

The day ended smoothly and I reached the metro station to catch the train back to my home. I feared that I might run into her on the station but it didn't happen. I boarded the train and sat in one corner. The commuters grew in no. as the train moved closer to the Central Delhi. My mobile's battery had very little life left so I turned the songs off when my stop was just 15 minutes away. Suddenly my eyes saw her, sitting at a distance of just few feet from me.

I didn't know when did she come there. I was surprised a bit and just couldn't turn my face away before she saw me. As I had expected, she smiled a little. But I didn't respond and instead began to play with my mobile. It wasn't an easy thing to do since I had never behaved in such a manner with any girl before. But destiny was hellbent on cooking up something between me and her and I didn't want that to happen at any cost.

She never came near me in the next three months neither did she try to give a friendly smile to me. She had understood that I hardly had any interest in getting acquainted with her.

How Could I say 'I Love You' : Part 10

I was adjusting my earphone when I heard her voice - a distinct voice with heavy accent. I was startled a bit since I didn't notice when did she come and stand beside me.

"May I sit here?" she asked me pointing towards my adjacent seat where I had kept my bag.

The habit of saying 'Yes' most of the times to the girls did the damage as I had already nodded before my mind could signal me to decline her request. Now nothing could be done. I slowly picked up the bag from the seat and put it in my lap. She sat down and then turned towards me

"Thanks a lot Vidhan."

'God! She even knows my name' I became anxious 'This is not good. I must not entertain her.' I quickly put my earphones in the ears and turned my face away. I spent close to half hour looking in the opposite direction from her. Unfortunately I couldn't find a vacant seat too till we reached Dwarka. My neck had begun to pain by the time we reached our stop.

I stormed out of the train before she could have any chance to talk with me. I didn't want to talk with her. I didn't have any interest in that girl.And I certainly didn't want anyone to link me with that dull girl.

How Could I Say 'I Love You'..........Part 9

My readers do not need to exercise their brains to deduce what happened next? In a nutshell I can say that we both heard a long speech, received a severe rebuking and even after 10 minutes of torture, we were marked absent in the first lecture. This seems too harsh, especially when you were late by just 2-3 minutes. But, as I came to know later, we had run into the most strict and oldest professor of the college. After this small but embarrassing episode I had begun to hate the college even more.

But I was surprised at that girl's reaction. It was definitely a news for me that she was actually my classmate. But what had really been a revelation was that girl wasn't that fragile as I had thought initially. A severe reprimanding into very early days of college and that too just for coming few minutes late is not something easy to digest. Amazingly, the girl had not broken down. I had seen even the most toughest looking girls sobbing at my school when the teachers had unleashed a ferocious verbal attack on them. But this girl didn't shed a single tear that moment and even after that. I kept on giving a glance at her every now and then in 1st lecture, but she was composed all the time.

But now I had enough with that girl. I suddenly realized that someway or another, destiny was trying to push that girl towards me. I didn't know much even about the few guys I used to talk with in the class, but here I was doing personality analysis of a girl I had no interest in, with whom I had never talked and above all, I didn't know her name too (well, I wasn't really interested  in knowing her name anyway). My doubt about the destiny playing a game with me were reinforced just a couple of days later.