How Could I say 'I Love You' : Part 10

I was adjusting my earphone when I heard her voice - a distinct voice with heavy accent. I was startled a bit since I didn't notice when did she come and stand beside me.

"May I sit here?" she asked me pointing towards my adjacent seat where I had kept my bag.

The habit of saying 'Yes' most of the times to the girls did the damage as I had already nodded before my mind could signal me to decline her request. Now nothing could be done. I slowly picked up the bag from the seat and put it in my lap. She sat down and then turned towards me

"Thanks a lot Vidhan."

'God! She even knows my name' I became anxious 'This is not good. I must not entertain her.' I quickly put my earphones in the ears and turned my face away. I spent close to half hour looking in the opposite direction from her. Unfortunately I couldn't find a vacant seat too till we reached Dwarka. My neck had begun to pain by the time we reached our stop.

I stormed out of the train before she could have any chance to talk with me. I didn't want to talk with her. I didn't have any interest in that girl.And I certainly didn't want anyone to link me with that dull girl.

How Could I Say 'I Love You'..........Part 9

My readers do not need to exercise their brains to deduce what happened next? In a nutshell I can say that we both heard a long speech, received a severe rebuking and even after 10 minutes of torture, we were marked absent in the first lecture. This seems too harsh, especially when you were late by just 2-3 minutes. But, as I came to know later, we had run into the most strict and oldest professor of the college. After this small but embarrassing episode I had begun to hate the college even more.

But I was surprised at that girl's reaction. It was definitely a news for me that she was actually my classmate. But what had really been a revelation was that girl wasn't that fragile as I had thought initially. A severe reprimanding into very early days of college and that too just for coming few minutes late is not something easy to digest. Amazingly, the girl had not broken down. I had seen even the most toughest looking girls sobbing at my school when the teachers had unleashed a ferocious verbal attack on them. But this girl didn't shed a single tear that moment and even after that. I kept on giving a glance at her every now and then in 1st lecture, but she was composed all the time.

But now I had enough with that girl. I suddenly realized that someway or another, destiny was trying to push that girl towards me. I didn't know much even about the few guys I used to talk with in the class, but here I was doing personality analysis of a girl I had no interest in, with whom I had never talked and above all, I didn't know her name too (well, I wasn't really interested  in knowing her name anyway). My doubt about the destiny playing a game with me were reinforced just a couple of days later.

How Could I say 'I Love You'.......... Part 8

I saw her again next week standing in the same manner in a corner of the metro train. How often do you remember a face you had seen in the crowd that had nothing worth remembering? But that girl was not a common Delhite. She seemed so out of place to me on the first day itself that I didn't take a second in recognizing her. She traveled with me and other passengers right till the end and yet again we left the metro at the last stop.

'She must be a student' I thought.For a moment I felt like asking her but then decided against it. My college was around half km from the metro station and so I had to walk on foot to the college. I didn't used to enter the college before the scheduled time since, in spite of all the efforts, ragging was going on in full swing on the campus. My classmates had told me that it was more of a fun and they had enjoyed it. But I wanted to avoid it at any cost. This college was not supposed to be my alma mater. I believed I would never fall in love with this place or the people here. 'Destiny has forced me to associate this college with my life for three years, but I wouldn't allow it to make any bond with my soul.'

I had hardly made any friends in the few initial days of the college. Most of the times I was silent in the class rooms. Most of the times I was lost in the good old memories and rest of the times I would curse my own decision. I knew that none of them would help me in surviving in this college, but it is not easy to let go of the sweetness of the memories and pain of parting.

I entered into the college premises as soon as my watch struck 9 a.m. I knew that professor would have already reached into the classroom and would have begun taking attendance. I knew I would be reprimanded just like last week, but this was the best possible way I could think of avoiding contact with seniors early in the day. I quickly climbed the steps, ran at a brisk speed in the corridors and reached the door of the lecture theater. To my utter surprise, someone else was also there, standing by the door with the same worried expression that I had become acquainted with in such a short duration.

How Could I say 'I Love You'.......... Part 7

Metro trains do not play a big role in the developing the love between the hero and heroine in Bollywood yet. The reason is pretty simple - very few films are shot in Delhi though the no. has risen significantly since release of RDB. But I believe that real life love stories do get a chance to blossom in these metros. I never knew that soon my own story would begin in one of those morning metros moving towards Dwarka.

 I noticed her on the final day of the first week of the college. The train was pretty crowded that day and even I couldn't get a seat to sit. But standing while travelling in the metro was not something new for me. I had numerous such rides with parents and friends since metro began in Delhi. I was standing in one corner with earphones plugged inside my ears when I saw her for the first time. A quick glance for few seconds was enough to conclude that she didn't belong to Delhi. I could see a mixed feeling of anxiousness and irritation on her face. Outsiders often get irritated when their very 1st journey in the metro doesn't turns out to be smooth. She was feeling uncomfortable in clothes (T-shirt and jeans) as well as I could see her moving uneasily every couple of minutes. She had a new set of glasses on her eyes and she kept adjusting them. A bulky bag on her back was a source of another trouble. With every passing minute she was getting more desperate to put it down but the crowd density was not allowing her to do so.

I was amused at this particular creature standing right in front of me. The journey to the college took around an hour and mine was the last stop. She finally got a seat to sit but only at the penultimate stop. She got down from the train with me at Dwarka only. I forgot about her once I got down from the train.But when I returned in the evening I found her standing on the platform with the same worried expression. I didn't pay much attention. She didn't carry any charisma to attract me at all. I turned my mp3 player on and boarded the train without giving a second glance at her.

How Could I say 'I Love You'.......... Part 6

3 years back 


Sometimes just one wrong decision taken in a spur of moment can become a source of regret. I never wanted to take admission into this particular college, yet here I was, moving rapidly in the metro towards my alma mater which wasn't destined to be one just a few days back.

It is funny how break-up sometimes leads to such decisions that actually mess up your life even further. Rashi and I had been together for almost a year and had decided to go into the same college as well. We had chosen a nice college in South Delhi and I was pretty sure that we both will be able to get the same course as well. Everything looked perfect till the results came out. I had scored bit lower than my expectations while Rashi had bettered hers. It became pretty obvious that we won't be able to the same college together. I frantically began to search for another good college where I could take admission along with Rashi. I finally spotted a decent but not too great college in the same vicinity, but received the shock of my life when she declined going to that particular college with me since the 'latter didn't deserve her'. I never knew that a few marks could bring so much change into her and my life. I tried to convince her but she didn't agree at all. Her justification was her career and that we could meet everyday since our colleges were located in the same area.

I tried to talk with her on the final date of form filling but she refused to reconsider her decision. We had a spat and in the rage I suddenly decided to go for another college far far away from hers. I didn't even look at the details of the college properly since the fire raging inside me had robbed me of my thinking ability. We had a break up and few days later the final admission list came out. She got the college she wanted to go to and I landed in the college whose name too I didn't know. My sanity was restored by then but it was too late.

So here I am, sitting in one corner of the metro contemplating about the coming three years and thinking  how boring life would be without Rashi; and how tedious this everyday journey would be for me.

How Could I Say 'I Love You'..........Part 5

This particular competition was turning out to be pretty amusing and entertaining. One by one they had called 5 different persons of the class and given them topics either suiting their personality or just opposite. Everyone in the auditorium was enjoying to the hilt. Even I was having my share of fun after getting bored for almost 2 hours. Just one more person was left to come on the stage. 'With it the farewell would end...or...no..wait... there would be a longgggg speech by the dignitaries. Another 30-minutes will be wasted in it.'

This thought had induced a headache for me. Suddenly the whole fun I was having since last 20 odd minutes was gone. I wanted it to end .... now. The anchor had come onto the stage to announce the final name. I was no more interested. I looked back and found few guys leaving already for the dinner. Most of them were juniors but I had found an escape route finally. It is better to get hold of a junior, have dinner quickly and then leave before rest of the guys arrive post grueling speech session.

I quietly stood up and casually walked towards the door. Suddenly I heard something from the stage. The anchor had called out the name of the final contestant. My feet jammed instantly. Did I hear it correctly, I wondered. There was a huge clapping and applause. I slowly turned back. There wasn't a single trace of doubt. I had heard the name of the final contestant quite clearly.

How Could I Say 'I Love You'..........Part 4

"And now" the anchor stopped for a couple of seconds and looked all around the hall before continuing "the most exciting competition of the evening, the winner of which will get a wrist watch worth Rs. 1000. " There was a huge applause from my peers in the front rows. For me, though, it was another precious time loss. I was already feeling hungry and wanted to leave the auditorium as soon as the announcement of dinner is made. This 'exciting competition' would definitely delay the proceedings by another 15 minutes at least. I had begun to get irritated but, on the contrary, my batchmates were pretty excited.

"So, who wish to participate in this competition?", the anchor asked. A lot of hands shot up in the air. "If I tell you that in this particular competition the participants have to speak for 2 minutes on a random but pretty interesting topic given by us, then how many of you will participate?" Within next 2 seconds only few hands were visible in the air. Most of them were seasoned debaters or speakers and didn't have the stage phobia.

"As I had expected" the anchor chuckled "only few are really interested in this competition since one has to speak ad-lib . But if the seasoned debaters participate in it then there won't be any fun and we do not want to make this event devoid of any zing. So we have already prepared a list of selected students, of course, through a lucky draw, who will participate in this competition. There will be 5 persons competing for the watch and the list is in my hand."

There was a huge cheering from the juniors' row while seniors just clapped. Most of them would have definitely become anxious after the announcement. Within this mixed atmosphere of anxiousness and excitement, the anchor read out the 1st name - Dilip Talwar and his topic 'Studies = One night fight'. The announcement of his name and topic resulted in a bout of laughter among all of us. Even I couldn't suppress my laughter. The reason was pretty obvious - Dilip's nickname in the college was One Night Fight since he always studied a day before the exam. How he managed to pass all these 3 years was a mystery to many. Anyway, he climbed the stage very confidently and spoke for 3 minutes instead of stipulated 2.